(Ben) Freud said, “Love and work. Work and love.
“That’s all there is.”
Well, I’m retired, and my wife is dead.
As you can imagine, that’s given me some time on my hands.
My wife’s been gone for three and a half years.
I miss her in every way.
That is an ongoing, relentless effort in creativity.
At first, I admit I enjoyed the novelty of it.
Sort of felt like I was playing hooky.
I used all the miles I’d saved and traveled the globe.
The problem was, no matter where I went, as soon as I got home, the nowhere-to-be thing hit me like a ton of bricks.
I realized the key to this whole deal was to keep moving.
Get up, get out of the house, and go somewhere.
Come rain or shine, I’m at my Starbucks by 7:15.
(Man) Excuse me, mind if we join you here?
Hey, how are ya?
(Ben) Can’t explain it, but it makes me feel part of something.
(Man) These guys today, they’re not numbers guys.
Don’t talk figures with them.
(Ben) How do I spend the rest of my days?
You name it.
Golf, books, movies, pinochle Tried yoga, learned to cook, bought some plants, took classes in Mandarin.
Translation, “Believe me, I’ve tried everything.”
And then, of course, there are the funerals.
So many more than I could imagine.
The only traveling I do these days is out to San Diego to visit my son and his family.
I love ’em to pieces.
But to be honest, I think I probably relied on them way more than I should.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an unhappy person.
Quite the contrary.
I just know there’s a hole in my life, and I need to fill it.
(Ben) Which brings me to today, when I was leaving the market and caught your flyer out of the corner of my eye.
“Seniors, be an intern.”
(Old Lady) Ben, I thought that was you.Hi.
(Ben) – Hey.
(Old Lady) -What’d you find?
(Ben) I think an Internet place is looking for senior interns.
-Am I reading this right?
(Old Lady) – Let me see.
“Applicants must be over 65 years of age, “have organizational skills, “a genuine interest in e-commerce,” whatever that is, “and a roll-up-your-sleeves attitude.”
(Ben) About The Fit.com, isn’t that the Outfit that Was…
(Old Lady) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They bought one of those old factories in Red Hook.
My daughter says they sell clothes on the Internet.
How that works, I have no idea.
(Ben) Well, you have to upload the application.
That could be challenging.
Listen to this, “Cover letters are so old-fashioned.
“Show us who you are with a cover-letter video.
“Upload your video to YouTube or Vimeo “using .mov, avi, or a .mpg file.
“We look forward to meeting you.”
Well, I guess that’s meeting me.
(Old Lady) I swear I don’t even know what language that was.
What are you doing tonight, Ben?
A frozen lasagna?
I could make a little salad, turn it into a dinner for two, like we did that time and never did again.
You know that was over five months ago?
(Ben) Oh, yeah.
No, no, we gotta do that again, for sure, but okay if we take a rain check?
(Old Lady) You’re awful cute, you know that?
(Ben) No, I didn’t.
(Old Lady) Well, it’s true, you are.
So I’ll see you.
Don’t take too long, doll.
You’re not getting any younger.
(Ben) – I know, I know, I know.
(Ben) So here I am, applying to be one of your interns because the more I think about this idea, the more tremendous I think it is.
I love the idea of having a place I can go every day.
I want the connection, the excitement.
I wanna be challenged, and I guess I might even wanna be needed.
The tech stuff might take a bit to figure out.
I had to call my 9-year-old grandson just to find out what a USB connector was.
But I’ll get there.
Eager to learn.
Also, I want you to know I’ve been a company man all my life.
I’m loyal, I’m trustworthy, and I’m good in a crisis.
And I love that you’re right here in Brooklyn.
I’ve lived here all my life, and lately I feel I may not be hip enough to live in Brooklyn, so this could help with that, too.
I read once, musicians don’t retire.
They stop when there’s no more music in them.
Well, I still have music in me, absolutely positive about that.
(Staff A) Good news, I found a size eight in navy.
(Staff B) No, you are right.
(Staff C) That package should have arrived by now.
(Jules) Let me track that for you.
Yep, these pants are awesome if you have hips.
Okay, let me just review this with you.
You have six bridesmaids.
You ordered six of the silk chiffon Antoinette dresses in pink.
The wedding is in three days, and the dresses just arrived all in charcoal gray, which we don’t even sell, so that is a bit of a mystery.
Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do about this.
I am gonna call the vendor and have this fixed today.
I will personally see the dresses before they are Fed Exed, and I promise you they will be at your front door by 9:00 a.m. Friday, okay?
You know what, let me give you my cell just in case, 718-555-0199.
Oh, thank you so much for your patience, and I am gonna refund you back all your money
Okay, hey, you check this one off your list, okay?
This is done.
And, Rachel, have a great wedding.
Oh, my God, how did that happen?
(Jules) I know, I know, I’m late for something.
(Becky) Yeah, everything.
(Jules)You see why I take customer service calls?
I mean, it’s so good.
You learn so much.
Okay, what’s up?
What am I doing?
(Becky) Okay, Cameron was waiting for you, but had another meeting.
He said he’ll be back at 2:00.
Um, everyone needs you to sign off -on tomorrow’s homepage.
(Jules) – Right.
(Becky) And your 11:00 is in the big conference room.
So is your 11:10.
Finance needs you, and I guess you e-mailed a bunch of people at 4:00 a.m. about something?
(Jules) Oh, good, I forgot about that.
I want to figure out a way for friends to shop together online.
Make it less of an alone thing.
E-mail me that idea, will you?
(Becky) Yeah, I like that.
Um, is now a good time to call your mom back?
(Jules) Dude, I’m on a bike.
(Staffs) Happy birthday!
(Jules) Oh! Oh, what a mess. This is the middle of the office.
Don’t put that—
(Ben) – Hi.
I’m Ben Whittaker.
I received an e-mail about an interview for the senior intern program.
(Reception) Hey, Ben. How’s it goin’?
(Ben) It’s going good, real good.
Take a seat around the corner, and someone from talent acquisition will come get you.
(Ben) Thank you. “Talent acquisition”?
(Jules) Okay, you guys have to remember; the homepage has to read in a glance.
Also, you have to get back like this if you wanna see what it looks like if you’re, like, over 35.
Okay, so I can’t read anything, but if I could, what do you want me to see?
“Five Girls, One Shirt” or “Check Out The Fit”?
(Staff A) Well, both, but what I really want you to see is the shirt worn by five different body types.
(Jules) Okay, then you gotta make me see that.
Try making the photo grid bigger.
I love that five.
Can we make it more graphic?
Yeah, that’s cool.
Maybe hero the girl in the red shirt.
(Staff A) – Jules…
(Jules) – That is a great red.
It is going to fly outta here.
(Staff A) I needed you to sign off on this, like, two hours ago.
(Jules) I know, I know, but can you try?
(Staff A) Yep.
(Jules) Mia? Tell me that thing again.
(Mia) Oh, 40% of our visitors don’t go past the homepage, which isn’t so bad.
(Jules) Yeah, but we should fix that.
(Staff A) Okay, here you go.
(Jules) I love it.
(Staff A) – Great, and it’s up.
The Antoinette dress.
Major screw-up by the vendor.
(Staff A) There’s gonna be a couple of interviews today, Ben.
We wanna make sure that we both find the right fit.
“Business as usual” is not really our motto, so we hope you have some fun here.
This is the first time we are hiring senior interns, so some of our intern questions may not exactly fit your profile, but we’re gonna go for it anyway, okay?
(Ben) Fire away.
(Staff A) Okay, good. Where’d you go to school?
(Ben) I went to Northwestern.
(Staff A) Hey, my brother went to Northwestern.
(Ben) Probably not at the same time.
(Staff A) Probably not. He graduated in 2009.
(Ben) – Class of ’65
(Staff A) Wow, what was your major? Do you remember?
(Staff B) And after Northwestern, you went on to…
(Ben) I went to work for Dex One.
(Staff B) Okay, and they made…
(Ben) – Phonebooks.
(Staff B) – Oh.
(Ben) I was in charge of overseeing the printing of the physical phonebook.
I did that for over 20 years, and before that I was their VP of sales and advertising.
(Staff B) So, do they still make phonebooks?
I mean, doesn’t everyone just Google numbers?
(Ben) I believe they do, but before Google that was how you got…
(Staff B) Oh, no, no. Yeah, I get it.
(Justin) So 40 years at the phonebook company?
That is amazing, seriously.
Now, I’m gonna ask you one of our more telling questions for all of our interns, so I want you to, like, this is the one to really think about, okay?
And take your time.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
(Ben) When I’m 80?
(Justin) Yeah, sure.
Did not realize you were 70.
That question just doesn’t work for you, does it?
Should we just scratch that one and just move on?
(Ben) – It’s your call, Justin.
(Justin) – Okay, that one’s gone.
You look great, by the way, so great, and you’re clearly more than qualified for this job.
You’re actually, like, way overqualified, and we were so impressed.
You had great interviews, great video.
You nailed it, Ben.
You’re an intern.
(Cameron) Hey. I need you for two minutes, uninterrupted.
(Jules) – Hi. Okay.
(Cameron) – Remember a few weeks ago, we talked about the senior intern program?
(Cameron) Really? We had a whole, big conversation about it.
(Jules) We did? Okay, remind me.
Seniors in high school or college?
(Cameron) No, no, no. Seniors in life. Older people.
(Jules) Hold on. What?
(Cameron) I told you I felt like we needed to do an outreach program.
You definitely seemed to be liking the idea, so I set it in motion.
It’s gonna be great.
(Jules) Hold, please. You’re hiring senior citizen interns?
(Cameron) There’s been a ton of research on this, and the results are actually incredible.
I mean, imagine having an intern with a lifetime of experience as opposed to somebody who spent the last four years of their life playing beer pong.
(Jules) Do they eventually want jobs here?
(Cameron) No, darling, they’re all retired.
They just want the experience.
And I would like one to work directly with you.
(Jules) – Wait, Cameron, no.
-Wha– First of all, I’m not great with older people.
You know how I am with my parents.
This could be…
Why do I have to have one?
(Cameron) Because you have to set the tone.
Now, would you prefer a man or a woman?
There’s a great 72-year-old woman, really cute.
(Jules) Ugh, that’s like the same age as my mom.
That’s too weird.
(Cameron) That’s fine.
There’s a man everyone loves.
He seems amazing.
I watched his video with the whole group.
People were crying.
(Jules) Okay, this is not going to work, in my opinion.
But how long do I have to do this for?
(Cameron) Six weeks, or we’ll be sued.
(Jules) I know we never talked about this.
(Cameron) Yeah, we did. For real. He starts tomorrow.
(Ben) Hmm. Back in action. Thank God.
(Jason) New interns, welcome to ATF.
We all work on this one floor, and that is because we are all about communication and teamwork.
No one has a private office, not even our founder and CEO, Jules Ostin, who is actually right over there.
She loves to ride her bike through the office.
That woman does not like to waste time.
Plus, she counts it as exercise.
(Old Lady) That’s adorable.
(Jason) Yeah. Hmm-hmm.
(Davis) Hey. How you doing? I’m Davis.
(Ben) Hi, Davis. Ben Whittaker. Exciting place, huh?
(Davis) Oh, my God.
They had one opening for a regular-age intern, no offense.
I got it. I’m so psyched.
(Ben) I’m pretty psyched myself.
(Jason) All right, a few words about Jules.
She started “About The Fit” only 18 months ago.
This whole idea was hatched at Jules’ kitchen table right here in Brooklyn.
Jules tried everything on that she sold, described the fit herself, and apparently, it worked.
She was online in four months.
She started with 25 employees.
She’s now up to 216.
With you four, 220.
(Davis) Hey, Ben, are you gonna wear a suit every day?
(Ben) – You bet.
(David) Confident. I like how you roll. I like it a lot.
(Staff) We just hit a record high of 2,500 “likes” on Instagram.
(Jason) And that’s what we do when something good happens around here.
New interns, grab a seat at one of the intern tables over there.
Check your e-mail.
You may find that you’ve been assigned to one particular person or one particular team.
Or you might just be a floater it’s all good.
Okay, let me Instagram this.
Moment in time.
-Gray is the new green.
Take a seat.
(Ben) Thanks. Oh, got one.
(Cameron) Welcome, Ben.
Your internship will be directly with our founder; Jules Ostin
(Old Lady) Oh, I’m in the photo studio.
(David) Floater. Love!
(Jason) Hey, Ben, what’d you get?
(Ben) Looks like I’m gonna be a personal intern.
(Jason) Nice. To?
(Ben) Jules Ostin
(Man next to Ben) Unfortunate.
(Jason) Hang in there.
(Becky) Hi, Ben.
I have secured an appointment for you to meet with Jules Ostin today at 3:55 p.m.
Please be prompt, as Jules has another meeting at 4:00 p.m.
(Ben) Hmm. (All right,)
(David) Hey, I’m going to merchandising.
(Becky) It’s perfect.
Yes, I’ll try to have her there at 5:00.
Um, no, wait, I booked her with a vendor at 5:15.
I’ll call you back.
(Ben) Hi, I’m Ben Whittaker.
I have a 3:55 appointment with Ms. Ostin.
(Becky) 3:55? I thought she was meeting with her new intern.
(Ben) That’s me. How you doing?
(Becky) I’m sorry. Uh, how are you an intern?
(Ben) It’s the new senior intern program.
It just started today.
(Becky) Oh, my God. Um… How old are you?
(Ben) Seventy. You?
(Becky) I’m 24.
I know, I look older.
It’s the job.
It ages you.
Which won’t be great in your case.
(Ben) I actually thought you looked younger.
(Becky) Yeah, right.
(Ben) Any tips before I go in?
(Becky) Just talk fast.
She hates slow talkers.
Maybe that’s just when I talk slow.
Don’t dawdle in any way.
Just keep it moving.
And don’t forget to blink.
(Becky) Yeah, she hates when people don’t blink.
It weirds her out.
But it’s 3:57.
This meeting that she’s in just took up, like, two of your…
Go, go, go.
(Ben) – Okay, thanks.
(Becky) – Go.
Oh, yeah, I’m here.
(Ben) Hi, Jules? I’m Ben, your new intern.
(Jules) I’m glad you also see the humor in this.
(Ben) Be hard not to.
(Jules) So, Ben…
I was gonna say what is a nice guy like you doing at place like this?
But Cameron gave me the drill, so can I just be honest with you?
(Jules) I’m not gonna have a lot for you to do.
That’s the truth.
And you being assigned to me is kind of just for me to set an example for the rest of the team.
If you ask me, I think that you’d be much better off working in creative or marketing.
It’s a little bit slower pace, maybe a little bit easier to grasp.
If you requested a transfer, we can make that happen.
(Ben) If that’s what you’d prefer.
(Jules) You’ll be happier, believe me.
I am not so fun to work for.
(Ben) That’s what I gather, but I can get along with anyone, and I’m here to learn about your world, give help where I can, so…
(Jules) So, you don’t wanna transfer?
(Ben) Not really, sir.
I’m terribly sorry.
Well, then looks like you’re stuck with me.
(Ben) Great, I’m excited.
(Jules) I will e-mail you when I have something for you to do.
(Ben) Or I could just stop by a few times a day, check in…
(Jules) I’ll e-mail you.
Also, don’t feel like you have to dress up.
I mean, we’re super casual here.
(Ben) Well, I’m comfortable in a suit, if it’s okay.
(Jules) No, it’s fine. Old-school.
(Ben) Exactly. At least I’ll stand out.
(Jules) I don’t think you need a suit to do that.
Well, I think we did it in less than two minutes.
I’ll wait to hear from you.
(Ben) Want the door open or closed?
(Jules) Doesn’t matter.
You’ll get used to me.
(Ben) Look forward to it.
(Ben) Hi. Hi. Hi. Howdy.
What do you need? No.
(Jason) What’s up, Ben?
Are you good?
(Staff) – The V-neck back tee?
-This is Holly.
-Can you run that up to them?
Yeah, no, no.
We love the whole line, Mark.
(Lewis) Okay, so you can zoom out.
(Jules) I’m going to a meeting.
I’ll be back in an hour.
We’ll talk then?
(Lewis) And then you can just click here to buy it.
(Davis) All right.
(Ben) Can’t leave before the boss leaves, Davis.
(Davis) Looks like you’re gonna be here a while.
See you in the morning, Ben.
-Have a good night.
(Ben) -You, too.
Let’s make it happen.
(Ben) How about I push, you deliver?
(Staff) Thank you.
(Jules) I like that there’s four faves instead of three, but can I see the one -without the jacket just to…
Okay, so they wanna know what customers bought who didn’t come back, so they can spot a problem if there is one, right?
(Davis) Yeah, but I don’t understand how to…
(Ben) All right, here’s what I think we should do.
(Jason) -Ben! Ben!
(Ben) -We should go…
(Jason) Hey, hey, look.
Here she comes.
Watch how she won’t even…
You look really nice.
How long can a woman be mad at you for?
(Ben) Well, it kind of depends on what you did.
(Jason) Well, first of all, nothing on purpose.
We were going out for a minute.
I thought she was cool.
I really liked her.
But then, I sort of accidentally slept with her roommate.
(Ben) That doesn’t help.
(Jason) I didn’t know she was her roommate.
I met her out.
How would I know that?
(Fiona) Hey, Nikki!
(Jason) Ben, tell me.
I don’t know this stuff. You’re older. You’ve been through a lot.
I mean, you have a lot of experience.
How long do you think she’ll be mad at me for?
(Davis) Jay, I have zero experience with women, and I can tell you, there’s no coming back from that one.
(Ben) I assume you talked to her, apologized, told her how much she means to you…
(Jason) Well, you know…
(Ben) You didn’t talk to her?
What did you do, send her a tweet?
(Jason) No, of course not.
I, like, texted her a billion times.
She didn’t answer, so then I e-mailed her.
But it was, like, a nice e-mail.
It was along one, well-thought-out.
Subject line I wrote, l’m Sorry with like a ton of “O’s.
” So it was like, “I’m sorry,” with a sad emoticon where he’s crying at the side of its little cheek.
I should probably actually just talk to her, huh?
(Ben) Can’t imagine it would hurt.
(Jules) Oh, did yesterday’s numbers come in?
(Ben) We could do it that way, too.
(Jules) I noticed my intern sure keeps busy.
(Cameron) Mr. Congeniality.
He’s a very big hit.
Everybody loves him.
Okay, do not look at that desk.
It’s like the office junk drawer.
It’s just gonna drive you crazy.
You just did that.
What are you, preparing for surgery?
(Jules) Okay, seriously? How did this even happen?
(Becky) No, no, I can set it up. She’s just in a meeting.
(Ben) Hi, something I can help you with?
(Becky) Yes, Jules spilled soy sauce on her Saint Laurent jacket.
Can you take it to the photo studio?
There’s lots of cleaners and stuff in there.
(Ben) Sure, where is it?
(Becky) She’s wearing it.
(Cameron) They would like us to consider the possibility…
(Cameron) of meeting with some potential CEOs.
(Jules) Wow. I did not see that coming. Why? uh…
Am I too inexperienced at running a business?
I didn’t go to Harvard?
My methods aren’t by the book?
I mean, isn’t that how we got here? Really?
I need adult supervision?
Could we be doing better?
We hit our five-year goal in nine months.
Jules, we can’t keep up with our own success.
You know that.
You’re an hour late to every meeting.
We have a name for it, “Jules Standard Time.”
And look, I get it.
There’s only so many hours in the day.
We’re all playing catch-up.
Our tech guys work until 2:00, 3:00 in the morning.
Customer service is slammed.
We’re running out of inventory.
We’ve got shipping issues and programing problems, and the bigger we get, the more complicated it’s gonna get.
(Jules) But isn’t this what a startup is? What? Say it.
What is everyone so worried about?
(Cameron) That it’s all going too fast, and it could get away from us.
Our investors just think that a seasoned CEO could take some things off your plate.
That’s all. Just free you up to do what you do great.
You come up with the ideas, and let somebody else make the trains run on time.
(Jules) But, Cameron, this new person, they are going to want to do things their way. Technically, be my boss.
I mean, how can I do what I do if I have to report to someone else, run every idea I have by this person? And can you see that working?
(Cameron) Well, Gilt Groupe brought in a CEO. How are they doing?
(Jules) I mean, get me CEO lessons, you know?
(Ben) Uh, excuse me.
I apologize, but Becky said you needed something taken care of on your jacket
(Jules) Oh, right.
(Cameron) Thank you, Ben.
(Ben) Off course.
(Cameron) The VCs made up a list of potential CEOs.
Let’s just take a look at the list. Explore it, then decide. Baby steps.
(Becky) Ben. Something big going on in there?
(Ben) I couldn’t say.
(Becky) You were in there a long time.
(Ben) I can’t hear a thing.
(Jason) Psst! Say something about me to her.
(Ben) No, you have to do it.
(Ben) On my way, boss.
(Becky) Hmm. Boss.
(Lewis) Hey, Ben. Ben. How old’s that briefcase?
(Ben) It’s a 1973 Executive Ashburn attach. They don’t make it anymore.
(Lewis) I’m a little in love with it.
(Ben) It’s a classic, Lewis. It’s unbeatable.
(Jules) Good night.
(Jules) Oh, my God. Somebody cleaned up that desk.
I swear, I was gonna stay late and do this myself.
(Cameron) Wasn’t me.
(Staff) Ben came in at 7:00 this morning and did it.
(Staff) Ben. Your intern.
(Cameron) Ben Whitakker Someone’s very happy.
(Jules) Brilliant. Thank you. Best thing that’s happened around here all week.
(Ben) Thank you.
(Fiona) This is your gift for a job well done. I’m Fiona, the house masseuse.
(Ben) Hi, Fiona. Ben.
(Fiona) Hi. Does that feel okay?
(Ben) It feels great, actually. Thank you.
(Fiona) Okay. You’re a little bit tight, Ben.
(Ben) Well, I haven’t sat at a desk for a while. My body’s not used to it.
(Fiona) No, I get it. Plus, they say sitting is the new smoking.
Let me see what I can do.
I spotted you in the lunchroom. I wondered who you were.
(Ben) Did you? Oh.
(Fiona) Yeah. Then someone told me you were an intern.
That’s pretty cool of you to do this.
(Ben) Well, it’s a brave new world. Thought I’d jump in. See what it’s all about.
(Fiona) Yeah, I know. Absolutely.
I’m constantly amazed at what they do here. Love bein’ a part of it.
(Ben) Oh. Oh, my God.
(Fiona) Yeah. There.
(Fiona) Right there. How’s that, Ben?
(Ben) Well, it’s -Oh, boy.
(Fiona) Okay, good. Good, good. There, good.
(Davis) Here you go.
(Fiona) A little tight right here. Is that better?
(Ben) Oh, boy, oh, boy.
(Fiona) Oh. How’s that?
(Ben) Oh, boy.
(Fiona) Hmm-hmm. Well, it was nice to meet you, Ben.
Love that there’s another oldie but goodie here.
(Ben) Nice to meet you.
(Fiona) See you later?
(Ben) Love to.
(Fiaona) Me, too.
(Davis) You’re not as old as I thought you were. Ooh!
(Jason) Wait, so you’re saying you shave -every day?
(Lewis) Even on Sundays?
(Ben) Every day.
(Jason) Okay, and even if you know that you’re not gonna see anyone that you know?
(Davis) How is this possible? I’m on Cheap Apartments.com and I literally can’t afford a single apartment in all of Brooklyn.
My parents gave me two weeks to find a place, and that’s just not gonna happen.
(Ben) Getting evicted?
(Davis) Hey, I’m in no rush, but apparently they are.
(Jason) All right, here. Let me see your phone.
Cheap Apartments.com. Have you tried Craigslist?
(Jason) Okay. Then I am out of ideas.
(Guest) Jules. Hi. How are you?
(Jules) Hi. How are you?
(Ben) Hey, how’s it going?
(Mike) Hey. Good.
(Ben) uh, Mike, right?
(Ben) Yeah, I’m Ben. I work for Jules.
(Mike) Yeah, she’ll be down in a minute.
(Ben) I Know. Look, I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable, but I just happen to have looked out the window, and it appeared you were drinking something from a paper bag.
(Mike) I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.
(Ben) Why don’t you tell her you can’t drive her today, or I’m gonna have to.
(Jules) We all good?
Jules. I’m sorry to do this, but I’m actually not feeling so hot.
Not sure I should be driving. I wouldn’t wanna give you anything.
(Jules) Oh, sure. Yeah, no, you should take the day off and feel better, okay?
(Ben) I’m happy to cover for Mike.
(Jules) That’s okay. Becky can drive me.
(Ben) Really? You wanna give her more to do?
(Jules) I hope you don’t mind if I don’t get in the front.
I’m not trying to be rude. I just think better in the back.
I mean, I could get in the front…
(Ben) No,no,no. This is perfect.
(Jules) Yeah. Yeah.
And everything you hear in the car is strictly confidential. Okay?
(Ben) Goes without saying.
(Jules) Hi, Mom.
(Mom) Oh, I found you.
(Jules) Yeah. So, what’s up? How’s everything?
(Mom) Well, your dad and I are finally putting together all our research at the hospital.
(Jules) That’s great.
(Mom) I hear you typing. That’s better.
So we’ve been studying women under 40 who sleepless than six hours a night.
(Jules) And what’d you find out?
(Mom) It’s interesting.
It seems like they’re 38% more likely to experience major weight gain compared to women who slept seven hours a night.
(Jules) Are you kidding me? You know I haven’t slept in two years.
(Mom) Well, I can’t change the facts, dear.
(Jules) Mom, you Know what?
I’m rushing into the city for a meeting, and I need to prepare.
Can I call you when I get home?
(Mom) Oh, you don’t have to.
(Jules) Okay. Love you.
(Mom) Thank you.
(Cameron) Hey, how we doin ‘? Did you look over the material on Atwood?
(Jules) Yeah, I did.
Uh, he had a great run at Travelocity and Citigroup, and I get it. He’s major.
(Cameron) He is. And the best thing about him is he’s been watching us, and he loves what we’re doing. But he’s only one of the names on the list. So if you don’t like him, we move on. But, Jules, try to be open. He’s supposed to be brilliant. And the VCs love him. A lot.
(Jules) Mark Zuckerberg never brought in a CEO, and he was a teenager.
(Cameron) Call me after.
(Jules) Oh, thanks, but you don’t have to. I can open the door.
(Jules) Okay, so this shouldn’t take more than an hour.
But if you can’t stay here, I’ll call Becky, and then she’ll find you, and then you can just pull up…
(Ben) Don’t worry. I’ll be here.
(Jules) I think I forgot to eat today.
(Ben) Should I pick you up some sushi?
(Jules) No, I eat too much mercury. I’ll be fine. I’m good.
I’m actually kind of nauseous, so…
(Ben) That was fast.
(Jules) Not fast enough.
(Ben) Oh, I picked you up some soup from a place I know.
(Jules) Thanks. You really didn’t have to do…
Oh, my God, that smells so good.
(Jules) Word travels fast.
(Cameron) Pretty short meeting.
(Jules) Yeah. I hated him.
(Cameron) Really? What happened?
(Jules) I thought he was a condescending, sexist know-it-all who did not seem to get what we do at all.
And, honestly, I think he would run our business in a completely inorganic way that would lose us all the customers we have killed ourselves to get.
Oh, and I think that he would replace us as soon as he got the chance.
The man never blinked.
An Olympian non-blinken
(Cameron) Okay, then.
(Jules) Yeah. See you in the a.m.?
(Cameron) Be there or be square.
(Jules) I’m sorry.
(Cameron) Hey, don’t be.
(Jules) I just wanted to say thank you for helping out with Mike today and for getting me chicken soup.
Oh, and for cleaning that mess. That was awesome. Seriously.
(Ben) You’re very welcome.
(Jules) It’s okay. I really won’t bite.
(Ben) You started this business all by yourself a year and a half ago, and now you have a staff of 220 people. Remember who did that.
(Jules) Who? Um… Thank you.
(Ben) And I hate to say it, but try to get some sleep.
(Jules) Here’s my favorite girl.
Hey, baby. Hi, honey.
(Ben) Over the hump.
(Jules) So how was your day?
(Paige) Kind of okay.
But you know what? Maddie said she didn’t wanna be my friend anymore.
(Jules) Aw! You know what? I don’t think she meant it. She’d miss you too much.
(Matt) I’m startin’ to think that Maddie is bipolar.
We go through this every other day.
(Paige) We do.
(Matt) Oh, how was your meeting? It was today, right?
(Jules) Yeah, just had it.
(Paige) Mommy, I think I’m winning. Look!
(Jules) Oh, that is so cool.
(Matt) Yeah, that’s the Play-Doh cake challenge.
We’re not finishing until tomorrow, so please hold on all judging.
Not to mention that we had an accident with mine, when someone, not to name any names, put her elbow in it.
(Paige) It was an accident.
(Jules) Well, I gotta say, I love the pink one a lot.
(Paige) That’s mine. Are you happy at me?
(Jules) I am so happy at you. I’m beyond happy at you.
(Paige) Daddy helped me with the icing.
(Jules) Good job, you guys. So, how about I give you your bath?
(Matt) Wait, hang on. I was waiting for your call. So you didn’t like the guy?
(Jules) He wasn’t a good fit for me. But a lot of other names on the list, so…
(Jules) I’m gonna beat you upstairs.
(Friend) Ben, I haven’t seen you in days.
(Ben) That’s right, homey. Ben’s got a job.
(Patty) Oh, you’re never home. What do you do? Never mind. It’s Patty.
(Ben) Hi, Fiona. It’s Ben Whittaker from About The Fit.
(Fiona) Oh, hey. It’s good to hear your voice.
(Ben) Oh, it’s good to hear your voice, too.
(Fiona) It was great meeting you today.
(Ben) I called you quicker than you thought I would.
(Fiona) I’m glad you did.
(Paige) Shh. Let her sleep, Dad.
(Matt) I tried to stay up.
(Jules) I know. I’m sorry I fell asleep in there. I just passed out.
I know we had a plan to have a grown-up conversation.
You wanna Netflix something?
(Matt) Hmm? I’m sorry, I just fell out for a second.
(Jules) It’s okay.
(Matt) Paige learned to say “humongous” today.
(Matt) Cracks me up.
She looks at me, she says, “You’re a very humongous dad, Dad”
(Matt) Oh, God. You know I hate to sound like the other moms.
But I’m starting to feel like I need a little me time.
(Jules) I know.
(Matt) Good night.
(Jules) Anybody home?
(Matt) Can’t keep my eyes open, Jule. We’ll do it tomorrow, okay?
Can you turn out your light?
(Becky) Hey, Ben. It’s Becky. From Jules’ office?
(Ben) Yeah, hey. What’s up?
(Becky) Jules’ driver is MIA (missing in action).
He’s not answering any of my texts.
I know you drove Jules yesterday, and I didn’t hear any complaints.
So can you pick her up this morning?
(Becky) You know where she lives?
(Ben) I was there yesterday.
(Becky) Okay, so you remember.
(Becky) And you’re hearing me, right?
(Ben) Loud and clear, boss.
(Becky) Okay, so be there at 7:45, ring the bell, and walk away. She’ll know it’s you.
(Ben) Ring bell, walk away. Got it.
(Ben) Oh, walk away.
(Matt) Hang on. I’m comin’. Hi, here for Jules?
(Ben) Uh, yeah, hi, sorry. I’ll wait in the car.
(Matt) Uh, she’s on a call. Do you wanna come in?
I just made some coffee. Could be a while. I’m Matt.
(Ben) Ben Whittaker.
(Matt) Good to meet you. Come on in.
Uh, Legos everywhere, so watch your step.
(Jules) Maybe feature some bloggers on the homepage?
(Matt) Have a seat, Ben.
Hey, Paige, this is Ben. He works with Mommy.
(Paige) I’m playing Princess Memory Game.
(Ben) Oh, yeah. Looks like you’re about to win.
(Matt) So you’re Jules’ new driver?
(Ben) No, actually, I’m her intern.
(Paige) That’s hysterical.
(Matt) You know what an intern is?
(Ben) That’s okay. Everyone thinks it’s hysterical.
(Jules) Hey, Matt, did… Morning.
(Matt) Is that all dry cleaning?
(Jules) These three are. These two are laundry.
And, uh, this button… This button is missing. I mean, it’s loose, so…
(Jules) If they could just…
(Matt) You got it.
(Matt) Hey, and, honey, uh, before you leave, just gotta go over a couple things.
(Jules) Okay. Look who I found.
(Jules) He was in your hamper.
(Paige) Thank you.
(Jules) Matty, did an ATF box arrive for me?
(Matt) On the table.
(Ben) Uh, I think I’ll just wait out…
(Paige) Ben, you want a raisin?
(Ben) Thank you.
(Matt) Okay, so tonight, you’re working… Are you listening, or did I lose you?
Ben, is she listening?
(Jules) I am totally listening.
I ordered some stuff to check on how it arrived. Not great, by the way.
Go on. Tonight?
(Matt) Yeah, okay.
You’re working, so Paige and I are gonna go to my mom’s for dinner.
After school’s Ruby’s birthday party.
And what about next Monday?
Do you know yet if we can go to dinner with Robbie and Annie?
(Jules) Oh, I’m so slammed next week.
I’m sorry. If you wanna go, I’ll make it. When was it?
(Paige) Oh, my God. Monday.
(Jules) Okay, I’m sorry. I was fixated on this tissue paper. I will be there.
(Ben) Thank you for the coffee. Thanks for letting me play.
(Ben) I’ll meet you in the car.
(Jules) Actually, I have to go. Come on, sweetie.
Ben, we’re gonna drop Paige at school, okay?
Here we go.
(Ben) Let’s do it.
(Jules) Kiss Daddy goodbye.
(Matt) Hey, wait. You forgot your doggy.
(Ben) Matt seems like a terrific guy.
(Ben) Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.
(Jules) Uh, that’s okay. I agree. He is.
(Paige) Who? The Dad?
(Jules) That’s what the other kids call Matt because he’s the only dad in a sea of moms.
(Ben) I’ve read about these househusbands.
It’s interesting how that all worked just now.
(Jules) They actually prefer to be called stay-at-home dads.
(Ben) Oh, sorry. Did not know that.
Well, it’s very admirable. He’s a real 21st century father.
(Jules) He is.
He actually had a great job in marketing, but, um, when About The Fit took off, he left to be a full-time dad. Totally saved our butts.
(Jules) Oh! We’re here, big girl.
(Paige) I do this in the cafeteria to my lunch friends -when they’re don’t looking.
(Jules) You do that?
(Other Mom) Hey, Jules.
(Other Mom) Nice to see you here.
(Other Mom) Uh, not sure if you got our e-mail, but we’re doing a fiesta lunch next Friday, and we thought you could bring the guacamole. Uh, you probably won’t have time to make it, so you can buy it. Which is fine. Enough for 18.
(Jules) No, I can make it. It’s not a problem.
(Other Mom) Great. Matt can bring it.
(Other Mom) Bye.
(Jules) All right. Have a great day, sweet pea.
Have fun at Ruby’s party, okay?
(Paige) Mommy? Do you know how to make guacamole?
(Jules) Yes, I do. Really well, in fact. We’re gonna make it together.
And after that, we’ll have a mother-daughter dance party?
Hey, Maddie. What’s up?
(Jules) Oh, my God. Come here. Oh, I love you, big girl.
(Paige) I love you, too.
(Jules) God. Taking the high road is exhausting. It’s 2015.
Are we really still critical of working moms? Seriously? Still?
I’m sorry. That was all rhetorical. There’s no need to respond.
(Ben) Wasn’t going to.
(Jules) Oh! Ben. I wanna stop by the warehouse.480 Greenpoint.
(Jules) No,no,no. You wanna make a right.
9th to Hamilton to the Expressway.
(Ben) Uh, I think we should take 4th to Flatbush. Much faster.
(Jules) It won’t be.
(Ben) By 12 minutes, at least. Can I try?
(Jules) I apologize.
(Ben) No need.
(Jules) Try to line the dots up the best you can.
And then… Okay. Pull this over.
If you can, try to pull this towards you, holding it on the outside.
(Ben) Good meeting you.
(Staff) Let me know -if you need anything.
(Ben) Thank you.
(Jules) Okay, so then put that on lightly.
Put it down with two. Secure it.
Our package should feel like they’re getting a little gift that they bought for themselves.
(Fiona) It’s open. Ben.
(Fiona) Come on in.
(Ben) Didn’t expect this.
(Fiona) Yeah. I like to think of it as a little bit of paradise.
Can I interest you in a back rub?
(Ben) Oh, no, thanks. I just came by because I found out I have to work late.
(Fiona) Oh. Then no dinner tonight.
(Ben) Sorry. I was really looking forward to it.
But I’m hoping we can pick another night.
(Fiona) Of course. Come sit down. Let me have your jacket.
Just for a minute. Come on. Relax. Okay, how about a foot massage?
(Ben) During office hours?
(Fiona) Yeah, that’s kind of the point. May I?
(Ben) It’s already pretty good.
(Fiona) All I’ve done is take off your sock.
(Ben) Well, no one’s ever done that better.
(Fiona) Okay, just relax. Close your eyes. Put your head back.
So when would you like to reschedule?
(Fiona) Can’t tomorrow. What about Saturday?
(Ben) Good. Oh, God. This is enormously satisfying.
What time should I pick you up?
(Fiona) Noon? I love daytime dates.
(Ben) Lunch, perfect. It’s sooner.
(Fiona) So how’s it going? How’s Jules?
(Ben) Yeah, I mean, she works on all cylinders all the time.
Doesn’t stop, doesn’t sleep, never see her eat.
Maybe it’s good that I’m here, you know? I hope I can help her.
(Fiona) I knew you were gonna be a good guy. I knew it. Try to relax.
(Davis) Oh, my God. I’m sorry. I’m leaving.
I’m leaving! Sorry, don’t stop. I’m leaving. Oh, my shoe. Sorry.
(Ben) I don’t know, kid. This lease doesn’t look so hot to me.
Three-month security deposit. You must really love this place.
(Davis) No, it’s horrible.
(Davis) But I can get in this week.
(Ben) Well, if I were you, I’d keep looking.
(Ben) Hey, Lewis. What’s up? I’ve never seen you so awake.
(Lewis) I was just asked to deliver this huge order to Tribeca, and I think it’s to Jay Z’s apartment. I’m not kidding.
Look, it says, “S. Carter.” I’m a little freaked out.
(Ben) I don’t know who that is, but is this someone you want to impress?
(Lewis) This is a genius, Ben.
(Davis) Whoa, what if Beyoncé opens the door?
(Lewis) Oh, my God.
(Ben) Okay, now I know who you’re talking about.
Well, maybe you should put on a proper shirt with a collar.
(Lewis) A collar? These are hip-hop people.
(Ben) Dress to impress, Lewis. Go to the rack. Find a boyfriend shirt that fits.
Bring the hair down if you can.
Tuck in the shirt. Why doesn’t anybody tuck anything in anymore?
I’m asking you.
(Lewis) Okay, okay.
(Jason) Benjamin. We made some progress.
(Ben) Very big day for the intern team.
(Jason) It was great. I mean, she yelled at me, but…
(Ben) She yells at me all the time, too.
(Jason) Right? It was communication.
(Jason) It was a breakthrough.
(Jason) Whoo! Oh, you want one, too?
(Lewis) Okay, boys.
I’m possibly meeting Jay Z and/or Beyoncé, and I’m in a blouse.
Wear it, dude.
(Ben) It’s an improvement.
(Lewis) Not true.
(Jason) Big one.
(Jules) I hate eating alone.
(Ben) So do I.
(Jules) You know, you don’t actually have to keep doing that.
(Ben) Well, force of habit.
(Jules) Here you go. Swiped these from the tech fridge.
(Ben) Oh, nice going.
(Jules) You want a slice?
(Ben) Sure, thanks. Cheers.
(Ben) I noticed a couple hours ago, you had a meeting with another possible CEO.
I saw him arrive. How’d that go?
(Jules) It was going well until he called us…
I believe the term he used was a “chick site.”
And I didn’t hear anything he said after that.
Apparently, selling clothes makes us a “chick site.”
I mean, really?
How is this not legit? (=legitimate)
(Ben) I couldn’t agree more. I find that surprising.
(Jules) Really? Sexism in business?
So… What did you do for work, Ben, before you retired?
(Ben) I was a VP for Dex One.
(Ben) I was in charge of printing, and before that I ran sales and advertising.
(Jules) Big jobs.
Wasn’t this a factory that used to make phonebooks? No! What?
(Jules) What? This is where you worked?
(Ben) For almost 40 years.
For twenty-some years I sat right by that window. That was my office.
It was a few steps up back then and we could look out over the whole factory.
Our printing presses were in that corner. That’s why the floor dips back there.
(Jules) No way.
(Ben) I know everything about this building. Or used to.
You know the sycamores on the other side of the building?
(Ben) The big ones?
(Jules) Yeah. The big ones. I love them.
(Ben) Yeah. I remember the day they were planted.
(Jules) Is it totally weird being back here?
(Ben) Well, it feels like home. lt’s remodeled, but home.
(Jules) So you’re on Facebook, huh?
(Ben) Well, I’ve been trying to figure it out. I joined about 10 minutes ago.
(Jules) Well, better late than never. Do you want some help?
(Ben) I’d love some, but, really, you’ve got better things to do.
(Jules) No. I need a diversion. You have a photo of yourself?
(Ben) No. I need one?
(Jules) Uh, if you wanna look up all those hotties from high school, you do.
(Jules) That is cute. Okay, I just need to send that to you.
All right, so there are all these questions for your profile that you can answer if you want to or not. Like religious views, political views, people who inspire you.
(Ben) Jules Ostin. I’m not trying to brown-nose you, but I’ve been in business a long time and I’ve never run across anyone quite like you. You do inspire, Jules.
(Jules) I just knew, at the end of the day, that a woman with a glass of wine and a laptop had real shopping potential.
And if you could actually promise her things would fit…
(Ben) See? That’s what I mean.
(Jules) Okay. Mmm. You have a favorite quote?
(Ben) I do. “You’re never wrong to do the right thing.”
(Jules) Who said that, you?
(Ben) Yeah. But I’m pretty sure Mark Twain said it first.
(Jules) Okay, favorite music?
(Ben) Uh, jeez. Sam Cooke, one of my all-time favorites.
Love Miles Davis, Billie Holiday.
(Jules) Oh, she was great, right? I mean, she could just, like…
(Ben) Transport you.
(Jules) Oh, yeah. Okay, books?
(Ben) Love Clancy. Ludlum. Crazy about Harry Potter.
(Jules) Matt loves Harry Potter too.
(Ben) Oh, yeah?
(Jules) Yeah, he, like, read them all the week they came out.
(Ben) Ah, well, me, too.
(Jules) Um, okay, what’s your relationship status?
Are you married? Single?
(Jules) I’m sorry. I think we should just say single, then?
(Jules) Okay, do you know what you need now?
You need someone to friend.
(Ben) I’ll be friends with the other interns.
They’ll show me how to do it in the morning.
(Jules) Well, you can friend me.
(Ben) Okay, thank you.
(Jules) Okay. Okay.
Congratulations, you are now officially part of the Facebook generation.
(Ben) Good deal.
(Jules) Um, you done?
(Ben) Yes, thank you.
(Jules) Okay. Well, I have, uh… I have another hour of work.
Are you… Are you okay with that?
(Ben) Of course. This was great, Jules.
It was nice to have an adult conversation with an adult man, you know what I mean?
Like, not about work. Not about…
(Ben) I know what you mean.
(Jules) Oh, we’re here?
(Jules) Was I snoring?
(Ben) No, no, no. Just sleeping.
(Jules) Sorry. My parents are sleep researchers, and they’ve been studying my sleep my whole life. Apparently, I’m a classic noisy sleeper.
Fun getting to know me, huh?
(Ben) It is.
(Jules) I never fall asleep in the car, so that was actually amazing.
Apologize for the racket.
(Ben) Barely noticed.
(Jules) I’ll pretend I believe you. I love this house. It just looks happy to me.
Like, if it was in a kids’ book, it would make you feel good when you turned the page and saw it. You know what I mean?
(Ben) I do.
(Jules) Well… Sayonara.
(Matt) I didn’t hear you come in.
(Jules) You know, I was thinking we need some awake time together.
Yeah, that, too.
(Doris) Good morning. I’m Doris. They asked me to drive you today.
Are you all set back there? You got your seat belt fastened?
(Jules) What happened to Ben?
(Doris) Oh, somebody said that he got transferred.
Um, you know the best way to get back to headquarters?
(Driver) Come on!
(Doris) Hold your horses, maniac!
Which way, hon? I’m all turned around here.
(Jules) Doris. Doris! Doris!
(Doris) What? What?
(Cameron) You told me to transfer him.
(Jules) That was two days ago. Why didn’t you check with me?
(Cameron) First of all, that was yesterday.
(Jules) Where is he? Do you know?
(Ben) Thank you.
(Jules) You must think I’m demented.
(Ben) Not the word I would use, but I was a little surprised when I got the call.
Jules, I apologize if I overstepped in some way.
(Jules) No. No, no, no, no.
Please don’t apologize. You have done nothing wrong.
Look, I have a lot going on, and I’m a very private person.
And at first, I don’t know, I thought maybe this wasn’t gonna work, but I was wrong.
Let me get one of those.
(Ben) Jules, no explanation necessary. Please.
(Jules) No, actually, one is, because I am usually better than this.
The truth is…
Something about you makes me feel calm or more centered or something.
And I could use that. Obviously.
I hope you’ll accept my apology and come back to work for me. If you want…
And I’m not just saying this because I screwed up this morning.
But I was thinking that I’d like to bring you up to my area, next to Becky.
I know you can handle more work. If you’d like more.
I… Oh, God, I can’t tell you how much I hate that I jumped the gun and I made you feel…
(Ben) I’m coming back. I’m happy to come back.
(Jules) Excellent. Can I give you a lift back to the office?
(Ben) Sure, thanks. Can I take this?
(Jules) No. Thanks.
Actually, do you mind driving? I don’t technically have a license.
(Becky) This is… This is crazy, Ben. Two desks are not gonna fit in here.
(Ben) No, I promise, I’ll stay out of your way.
(Becky) But it’s impossible because now I don’t have room for…
(Jules) This is good, right?
(Jules) I like this arrangement.
Uh, Becky, I want you to let Ben give you a hand, okay?
And cc him on all my e-mails. Did we get yesterday’s numbers?
(Becky) Uh, yes, we did. I saw them here. Here you go.
And I need to go over the data on customer purchase patterns.
Let Ben take a look at that, too. Actually, let Ben take a look at that first.
(Jules) Don’t worry, Becky. Backup’s good.
Ping me when Cameron gets in.
(Becky) I’ve been here nine months, Ben, and she’s never asked me to take a look at anything for her ever, okay?
(Ben) I hear you. That’s frustrating.
(Becky) I mean, totally. I graduated from Penn. I have a business degree.
But I never seem to do anything right around here.
And you’re, like, 50 years older than me and you’re deaf.
(Ben) I happen to think you do a lot of things right.
(Jason) You do so much.
(Becky) I know. I know that. But she doesn’t.
I mean, I bust my ass for her 14 hours a day, and she never notices.
Oh, my God. I hate girls who cry at work.
(Ben) How about if you, just as an experiment, try letting me help you.
A lot of your stress is gonna be lifted once you’re out from under this mountain of work.
And maybe you should consider leaving here at a normal hour once in a while.
See your friends. Have a little fun.
(Jason) Hmm-hmm. I can offer my assistance in this area.
I would love to, actually.
(Becky) I just don’t want her to think that I can’t do my job and I need an intern to help me.
(Ben) Okay, you’re not gonna wanna hear this, but I heard women who sleep less than seven hours a night gain 38% more weight than women who sleep more than seven hours a night.
(Becky) What? I leave here at 11:00. I get back at 7:00.
I sleep, like, five hours a night, and now I’m gonna get fat?
(Ben) Let’s get through this stuff.
Let’s do it together. Let’s clean-slate it. Let’s just do it.
Very nice, St. Louis.
Ah, suede jacket in D.C.
Oh, my God.
I cannot believe how well that sweater is doing.
I’m so happy.
(Jules) Oh, look at Chicago! She put the same boots in her cart as the woman from Houston.
(Cameron) Okay, let’s see what she does at checkout. She’s not buying them either.
(Jules) Okay, maybe check the delivery cost on those boots?
(Ben) Hi. I took a look at the data purchase patterns. Uh, should I come back?
(Jules) No, no, come on in. That was fast.
(Ben) Well, I enlisted Becky’s help.
It seems the most expensive place you’re advertising is actually bringing you the customers who are spending the least.
And the channels you’re least investing in are adding enormous value in segments that currently appear to have low value, but actually have the highest spending potential. That’s what I could tell so far.
(Jules) Oh, Ben! Can you, like, deal with that for me?
Maybe come up with a better plan? I mean, if you have the time?
(Ben) Happy to.
(Jules) The man spent 40 years in business.
(Cameron) Yeah, no, I get it.
(Ben) And, Jules, Becky was a huge help in this.
You know, she has a business degree from Penn?
(Jules) I know. I mean, I forgot, but I know.
I’ll say something to her.
(Ben) That would be very nice.
(Davis) Hey. How’s it goin’ up here in first class?
(Ben) Busy. I see you found an apartment.
(Davis) No. My two weeks are up. I’m movin’ in with my cousin.
(Davis) In Philadelphia.
(Davis) What? I’ll get there by 11:00, leave at 5:00.
It’s cool. I can handle it.
(Ben) You know, I feel like everybody’s uncle around here.
(Davis) Yeah, why is that?
(Ben) Because I’m gonna save your ass, and I’m gonna put you up for a few weeks.
(Davis) Ben, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
(Ben) Okay, Okay. Easy, fella.
(Davis) I like that you do the throw pillow thing.
(Ben) I was married for a very long time.
(Davis) Hmm Whoa! Is this your closet? Busy man about town.
What’s in all these drawers?
(Ben) Boxers, T-shirts, pocket squares, handkerchiefs.
(Davis) Okay, what’s the deal with the handkerchief?
That one I just don’t get at all.
(Ben) Okay. It’s essential.
That your generation doesn’t know that is criminal.
The best reason to carry a handkerchief is to lend it.
(Ben) Ask Jason about this. Women cry, Davis. We carry it for them.
One of the last vestiges of the chivalrous gent.
(Davis) Ah. Well, then it’s different than a po…
(Ben) I know you wanna hang. But I have to get some sleep, kid. I’m pooped.
(Davis) Good night, Ben. Thanks again.
Will you wake me in the morning, or is that too much to ask? My parents always…
(Ben) Too much.
(Davis) Understood. I’ll just set an alarm on my phone. I hope I can hear it.
I’m such a deep sleeper.
(Ben) Oh, my God. I’ll wake you.
(Davis) Thank you! Love you. Not kidding.
(Ben) I love you, too. Now go to bed.
(Matt) Here’s some more berries, guys.
(Paige) Ben, can you pour me more syrup, please?
(Ben) Sure can. There you go.
(Paige) Perfect. Good job.
(Ben) Oh, thanks.
(Jules) Oh, boy.
Okay, so this really big CEO named Townsend, the one everyone said would never be interested in us because we weren’t big enough for him?
(Matt & Ben) Yeah?
(Matt) We’re like your sister wives.
(Jules) Well, we just found out he’s beyond interested.
(Jules) Yeah. Maybe.
Everyone’s flipping out about it, but you know I’m still on the fence at best.
Anyway, the only thing is, I have to go to San Francisco to meet him.
He can’t come here.
(Matt) When do you have to go?
(Jules) The only day he can meet is next Thursday.
Do you wanna come? Maybe we can stay the weekend?
(Matt) Oh, that sounds awesome.
Um… Oh. Thursday I can’t.
Paige is snack leader at school and I’m supposed to be in the class with her.
It’s kind of a big deal.
(Paige) Yeah, it’s a really big deal.
(Jules) No, I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. I forgot.
(Matt) Uh, maybe Ben could go with you.
(Paige) Yeah, that’s a good idea.
(Jules) Guys, Ben has a life.
(Ben) Uh, not really. Not one that takes me to San Francisco.
If you want the company, I’d love to go.
(Paige) Guess what, Ben?
(Paige) Today, my dad’s gonna be Ariel. It’s his turn.
(Ben) Oh, that’s good, right?
(Paige) Really good.
(Matt) You guys think finding a CEO is a big deal?
Here, the big negotiation is who gets to be Ariel when we’re playing Little Mermaid.
And for the record, it’s never been my turn.
Mmm-mmm. So this is huge for me. I’m excited.
I get to comb my hair with a fork, play with gadgets and gizmos aplenty.
(Jules) This is Jules.
So, guys, how long till we get it fixed?
I mean, if you can’t zoom in, you probably won’t buy.
(Cameron) Yeah, the first couple hours are already down 23%.
(Ben) Oh, boy.
(Jules) Okay. Uh, I will be there in, like…
(Ben) Two minutes.
(Jules) Two minutes.
(Cameron) We’re on it.
(Jules) Ben, do you have the info on Friends Shopping Together?
(Jules) Thank you.
This is Jules.
(Mother) What’s wrong?
(Jules) Oh, Mom, hi.
Um, I just found out that the zoom link, the button that you click on to zoom in on a photo, isn’t working.
(Mother) Well, that doesn’t sound like such a big deal.
(Jules) Well, actually, it is. It’s what people use to get a closer look at what…
Everybody zooms in.
(Mother) I guess I don’t go to your website enough -to know that.
Mmm. Typing and ringing.
(Jules) Yeah, sorry. Oh, it’s the warehouse. Mom, I’m sorry. Can I call you back?
(Mother) No need.
(Jules) Okay, I love you.
(Jules) Who says “yep” to “I love you”?
(Alonzo) Hi, Jules.
(Alonzo) Not good news.
(Jules) What? Okay. Lay it on me.
(Alonzo) In a routine check by the sanitation department, they found one bedbug.
(Alonzo) Unfortunately, yes.
We sent out 4,800 boxes yesterday.
We have to get them all back, shut down the warehouse…–…spray for bedbugs, then we can start shipping again.
Okay, here we are.
(Jules) Okay, let me just finish this e-mail.
No, no, no…
Thanks for coming.
I know the zoom is broken, and I don’t mean to pull anyone off of that, but I need a favor.
I accidentally sent an e-mail to the wrong person, and she’s at work right now.
And I know she doesn’t check her personal e-mail until she gets home at 5:30.
So I have until then to figure out how to delete it.
Because if this person sees this e-mail, it’ll be horrible.
And on top of that, she has a minor heart condition.
I think this could possibly be not good for that.
So I am counting on your good graces and brilliance to figure out a way to save my ass.
(Employee 1) Truthfully, Jules, it’s pretty impossible to hack into a server.
(Employee 2) And you don’t know her password?
(Jules) No idea.
(Ben) Jules, I think there’s only one thing we can do.
(Jules) What? Tell me. I’m dying.
(Ben) Me and the boys take off, we break into your mom’s house, and we steal her computer.
(Jules) Break into her house and steal the computer?
Are you kidding me? That’s freakin’ genius.
(GPS) You will reach your destination in 300 yards.
(Jason) Little does GPS lady know she is an accomplice to a crime.
(Ben) The woman has a heart condition. Think of it as a good deed.
(Davis) I never thought you’d be a bad influence on me, Whittaker.
(Ben) Oh, relax, fellas. This is gonna be a piece of cake.
The key is under a flowerpot. We go in, we delete, we disappear.
(Lewis) She doesn’t have an alarm, right?
(Ben) Nope. She does not.
(Jason) What if there’s, like, a password on the e-mail? Hmm?
(Ben) Then we take the computer.
Jules said she’d buy her a new one, so it’s a win-win.
(GPS) You will reach your destination in 100 yards.
(Lewis) This is like an Ocean’s movie. Ben’s the old guy with the big glasses.
(Jason) His name is Elliott Gould.
(Lewis) Yeah, and, Jason, you’re Clooney.
(Jason) Thank you.
(Lewis) I’ll be Matt Damon ’cause I’m kind of an outsider.
(Davis) Yeah, definitely. Who am I?
(Lewis) You are Ben Affleck’s brother.
(Davis) Well, why aren’t I Brad Pitt?
(Lewis) I think that’s kind of self-explanatory.
(Ben) Okay, Clooney.
(Jason) Thank you.
(Ben) You’re behind the wheel.
Park on the street. Keep the engine running, your eyes open.
Damon, Affleck’s Brother, you’re with me.
(Lewis) All right, let’s do this.
(Ben) Remember, the key’s under the flowerpot.
(Davis) Oh, great plan so far.
(Lewis) Oh, my God.
(Ben) Lewis, get Becky.
(Lewis) Well, if we don’t know the code, this is gonna turn into an alarm in 60 seconds.
(Ben) Becky, put Jules on. She put me on hold. What is wrong with that girl?
(Davis) This is so not good.
What are we supposed to do, Ben? What are we supposed…
(Ben) Stop eating!
(Ben) Go look for the computer. Right now.
Go! Go! Go! No! Separately! Separate…
(Becky) Ben. Ben, you there?
(Ben) Becky. Don’t screw around. Put Jules on. It’s an emergency.
(Becky) She’s in a meeting.
(Ben) Interrupt her.
(Jules) Ben, what’s up?
(Ben) Jules. Your mother has an alarm.
(Jules) No, she doesn’t.
(Ben) Yes, she does. I’m in her kitchen. It’s about to go off. What’s her code?
(Jules) I have no idea. Ben, listen to me. I know this woman.
That is a fake alarm that she bought off of some infomercial or something, okay?
It’s not real. It’s not connected. It’s just to scare off burglars.
(Ben) She says it’s fake. It’s just to scare off burglars.
(Davis) Oh, well, it’s doing a good job.
(Jules) Listen, my parents would never pay for an alarm, okay?
They’re the cheapest people in America.
(Ben) Okay, well, it hasn’t turned into an alarm yet. It’s still beeping.
(Jules) That’s ’cause it’s a fake. Trust me on this one.
Have you found the computer?
(Lewis) It’s not down here.
(Ben) Lewis, go in there. Davis, in there.
(Lewis) Found it!
(Davis) Got it!
(Ben) What? We found two. Which one is hers? The white one or the silver one?
(Jules) White one or the silver one?
(Becky) Your mom’s computer?
(Becky) It’s white. I got it fixed for her once. I am positive.
(Jules) The white one!
(Jules) Oh, my God!
(Davis) I knew there was no such thing as a fake alarm!
We’re gonna get arrested! I knew it! That’s it! We’re done!
Our fingerprints are all over this place!
(Jules) Ben, do you see the e-mail?
(Ben) Not yet.
(Davis) Double-time it, dude.
(Lewis) Here, let me. Found it. “Why is my mother always such a raging bitch?”
Subject, “She’s a terrorist.”
(Julse) Yes! Delete it!
(Jules) Now from the trash!
(Lewis) Got it.
(Ben) Davis, where’d you find this?
(Davis) Under the bed. Right side.
(Lewis) Which right side?
(Davis) Right side facing the bed! Oh, my God! My life is over!
I’m gonna be a felon and I have not committed a crime!
(Ben) Davis, pull it together. Can’t you hear how far away that is?
We’ve got at least 30 seconds until they’re here.
(Davis) How am I gonna explain this to my parents?
Oh, my God. My lisp is back!
(Ben) 20 seconds.
(Jules) Just run! Run!
(Jason is Singing) Tell me what you wanna do Come here, ma Talk to me, so talk to me Look like you’re real good to me Talkin’ real, tryin’ to walk for me Put it on, dawg Dance like you never did before for me Wanna break your back Gonna break your neck
(Ben) What’s he do…
(♪) When I lock it down, I hit you with that
(Ben) Open the door!
(♪) Every time I come through this mother freaker is always in the ride
(Ben) Jason! Open the door!
(Davis) Open the fucking door!
(Jason) Whoa! Whoa, okay! Okay!
(Davis) Hold on! I’m not in! I’m not in! I’m not in! I’m in.
(Davis) You are a crazy son of a bitch. You know that, right?
(Ben) I didn’t, actually. I’m sure my blood pressure was through the roof.
But it was worth it. Good times!
(Jules) Guys, I can’t. I literally can’t thank you enough for what you just did.
It was… So above and beyond and brave and loyal, I am indebted to you forever.
(Lewis) No, you’re not.
(Davis) Well, you’re very welcome.
You know. Takes a team, but it’s done. All taken care of.
(Jules) I’m gonna have another. Anybody else?
(Jason) I would love that.
(Lewis) Yeah, let’s do that.
(Davis) But could I just get a half this time?
(Jason) I’ll take his half.
(Jules) We’ll all have doubles.
No, no, no, it’s okay. I can drink. It’s a thing about me.
Now, what are your names, again? I never wanna not know you.
(Jason) I’m Jason. I’ve worked for you for, like, a year.
I’ve delivered things to your home. I met Matt a bunch of times.
I’ve tied your daughter’s shoe before.
(Jules) I know who you are. I’m just terrible with names.
(Jason) It’s all right. It’s Jason.
(Jules) You’re new, right?
(Davis) Yeah. I’m Davis. I started work the same day as Ben.
We’re pretty much besties, and I’m his mentee.
(Davis) He gave me this tie, for example. It was his. It’s vintage.
(Jules) I like it. I like men in ties. And you’re Lewis.
(Jules) Yeah, I could hear a little bit over the phone.
You were very cool under pressure.
(Lewis) Well, it was my first heist. I tried to be chill. Thanks for noticing.
(Jules) Boys, what can I say…
I didn’t mean to call you “boys” Nobody calls men “men” anymore.
Have you noticed?
Women went from “girls” to “women” Men went from “men” to “boys”?
This is a problem in the big picture. Do you know what I mean?
(Jules) I’m gonna have another.
(Ben) Another? You sure about that?
(Jules) Yep. Okay. Here’s my theory about this.
We all grew up during the “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” thing, right?
(Jules) So we were always told we could be anything, do anything.
And I think guys got, maybe not left behind, but not quite as nurtured, you know?
I mean, like, we were the generation of, “You go, girl.”
We had Oprah. And I wonder sometimes how guys fit in, you know?
They still seem to be trying to figure it out.
They’re still dressing like little boys. They’re still playing video games.
(Jason) Well, they’ve gotten great.
There you go.
(Lewis) Love video games.
(Ben) Oh, boy.
(Jules) How, in one generation, have men gone from guys like Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to…
Take Ben, here. A dying breed.
You know? Look and learn, boys, because if you ask me, this is what cool is.
(Ben) Thanks, Ace. You’re not gonna drink anymore, right?
(Jules) Callin’ me “Ace”? That’s just super cool, right?
(Davis?) Very cool.
(Jules) Okay, I am officially a little dizzy.
I apologize for the tirade. I am gonna go.
But I am forever in your debt, gentlemen.
Another word which is never used anymore.
Let’s bring it back, shall we?
(Jules) Ben, I’ll be Ubering home. Thanks again.
(Jules) I’m so sorry.
(Ben) Don’t worry.
(Jules) I’m fine now.
(Ben) Okay. It’s okay, it’s okay.
(Jules) Oh, I haven’t done that since college.
Thank you. Oh, man. Very sorry you had to see that. Humiliating.
(Ben) It’s all good. Feeling better?
Yeah, I forgot you gotta eat before you drink.
I’m good now. Thank you. I’ll be leaving in a minute.
Just working on making this the worst possible day for you.
(Ben) No, not at all. You’ve had a stressful day.
(Jules) How is it that you always manage to say the right thing, do the right thing, be the right thing? It’s uncanny.
(Ben) You get some rest.
(Jules) I will- Thanks for everything. Oh. And, uh…
(Ben) Really so nice of you to do this.
Most women would have just rescheduled.
(Fiona) Oh, not to worry. I understand.
(Ben) It was unexpected.
(Ben) Thank you.
(Fiona) Thank you.
(Staff) You’re welcome.
(Miles) Oh. Come on in.
(Fiona) I’ll go in after you.
(Ben) All right.
(Miles) Benji, you brought a date to a funeral. Unreal.
(Ben) We had plans. Who knew this was gonna happen?
(Miles) Well, how do you do? I’m Miles.
(Fiona) Hello. Fiona. I’m so sorry for your loss.
(Miles) Oh, thank you, dear. Wowza !
(Fiona) I never went to a Shiva before.
The laughter was wonderful. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten more.
I’m not even sure how I left with a box of cookies.
(Ben) Well, you were a big hit.
Giving the widow that back massage, winning move.
(Fiona) Oh, yeah. She needed it.
(Ben) I definitely think it’s a good idea to take all first dates to a funeral.
(Ben) A real icebreaker, don’t ya think?
(Fiona) I know you’re kidding, but, honestly, who needs the strain of the dinner date? And the “Why aren’t you married?” conversation.
At our age, it’s not even possible to catch up.
(Ben) Well, I can do me in 10 seconds. You ready?
(Ben) Widower, one son, two grandkids.
Spent my life manufacturing phone books, which no longer serve a purpose.
I’m currently working as an intern, having a ball.
And the best news is, I have a crush on a girl I met at work.
(Fiona) I’m sorry you lost your wife.
Okay. Divorced. Three beautiful daughters.
One grandchild, a boy, on the way.
I was sick a few years back. I’m not anymore.
I’m an in-house e-commerce masseuse. Love my job.
And I finally met a man I actually wanna hang out with.
(Ben) Lucky me.
(Ben) Hey, buddy, you don’t look so great.
(Matt) Yeah, I know. But believe me, I look better than I feel.
Did you see the Yankees last night?
(Ben) They were on fire.
(Matt) Oh, man.
(Jules) Gotta get somethin’ in your stomach. Honey, honey, honey.
Can you please take one bite before school? Please? Just one bite?
(Ben) Hey. Whats with the waterworks, little one?
(Jules) I just told her that the sitter’s gonna have to take her to Maddie’s birthday party because Matt’s feeling sick.
(Paige) But I don’t wanna go with the sitter.
Ben? Can you take me? Please?
(Jules) Oh, honey? I’m so sorry, but Ben’s gotta go to work today.
(Ben) Jules. Come on. It will take an hour. Let me take her.
(Ben) I can’t believe we’re still going through this.
I’m going the right way. Please have a little trust.
(Paige) But the park where the party is…
Oh, sorry, Ben. Actually, this is it.
(Ben) You’re like a clone.
Oh, boy. This looks like a nice party.
(Paige) Yeah, it does.
(Ben) So which one is Maddie?
(Paige) The one in the pink.
(Ben) Okay. The one in the pink.
(Paige) You can go sit with the other moms, okay?
(Ben) Okay. You wanna give Maddie her present?
(Ben) Okay. Have fun. The other moms.
(Jane & Emily) Freprino or something.
Yeah, I know. I don’t know any of them.
(Ben) Hi. I’m Ben.
(Jane) Hi. Jane.
(Ben) Hi, Emily. I’m helping Matt and Jules out today.
(Emily) Oh, are you Matt’s dad?
(Ben) No, no. I work for Jules.
(Ben) That’s okay?
(Jane) I’ve just heard she’s, you know, kind a tough.
(Ben) Tough? Jules? Sure. She’s a total badass.
I guess that’s now she became an Internet sensation.
Must make you guys proud, huh?
One of your own out there every day, crashing the glass ceiling of the tech world.
So, bravo, good for her. Right?
(Jane) Yeah. No, for sure.
(Ben) What’s up, kiddo?
(Paige) I don’t feel good.
(Ben) You don’t? Do you wanna sit on my lap?
(Emily) You know, if she’s sick, she probably shouldn’t be here.
(Ben) Tough crowd, Paige. You wanna hit the road?
(Paige) Does that mean “leave”?
(Ben) Afraid so.
(Paige) I spy with my little eye something… Blue!
(Ben) Is it the car next to us?
(Ben) Is it that dog leash?
(Ben) Uh, is it the sky?
(Paige) Yes! You got one. Your turn, Ben.
Oh, I have a good one. I spy with my little eye something green.
(Paige) Is it that tree?
(Paige) Is it that front door? Well, it’s kind a green.
Is it, Ben? Is it that front door?
(Paige) Yeah, it is, honey. Good girl.
(Matt) Thanks so much, Ben.
Hey, come on in the kitchen.
Can I get you something before you hit the road?
Want a cup of coffee or a bite to eat?
(Ben) No, I’m good, thanks.
(Matt) Okay. How was she? She gives you any trouble?
(Ben) She was perfect.
She wasn’t feeling so great at the party, so we left early, and she just fell asleep in the car, so I let her get a nap in.
(Matt) So nice of you. Thank you. –Sorry.
(Ben) Well, you seem like you’re feeling more with it.
(Matt) Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, I guess I just needed a little downtime.
You know, or maybe I wasn’t even that sick, I don’t know.
Hey, Ben, I got somethin’ I wanted to ask.
What’s your whole take on the CEO thing?
I mean, you’re more on the inside than I am.
(Ben) I know Jules is tryin’ to do right by everybody, the investors, the company.
You. She’s got a lot on her shoulders. The pressure is unbelievable.
(Matt) Am I wrong that I want it to happen?
I mean, I want what she wants, but you know what it’s like around here.
We don’t see her enough, and maybe this can fix that.
(Ben) The CEO’s gonna fix what’s going on here, Matt?
Whatever she decides, I just… I want it to be good for her.
I want her to be happy.
(Matt) Of course.
(Ben) She deserves that.
(Matt) Yeah, she does deserve it.
(Ben) Hi, Amy.
(Amy) Hey, Ben.
(Lewis) Benjamin, what do you think? I found it on eBay.
You were right. Total classic.
(Ben) It’s awesome, kid.
(Background Party) And many more.
(Jules) So how did it go?
(Ben) Well, you have a great kid, Jules. She’s adorable.
(Jules) Aw. Thank you so much for doing that.
So you excited about our trip to San Francisco tomorrow?
Are you okay?
(Jules) Oh, I hope you don’t have what Matt has.
(Ben) I don’t.
(Jules) You sure?
(Jules) What’s that?
(Ben) Blood pressure. I take it every day.
(Jules) Are you sure you’re okay?
(Jules) You don’t look like you. You’re all flushed.
Why don’t you go see Fiona, the masseuse, and just chill a little.
(Jason) What’s up? Whoa, Ben, you okay?
You seem to be slightly malfunctioning.
(Jules) Becky. Does he look right to you?
(Ben) Okay. Thank you. I think we’re good here.
Got a lot of work to do. It’s all good.
(Becky) Is it his coloring?
(Ben) Oh, my God, you’re all nuts. I’m 100%, let’s move on, kids.
Big day. Lots to do.
Ben, if I am giving you too much to do or working you too hard, please do not feel that you have to go with me to San Francisco.
(Ben) Jules, people my age get tired sometimes. That’s all this is.
(Jules) You’re tired?
That’s why you haven’t looked at me once since I came over here?
(Ben) I’m looking at you.
(Becky) Jules. Cameron’s on the phone.
(Jules) Okay. Like, if you don’t feel better tonight or late…
I’m just saying I can go by myself. Okay? I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine.
(Jules) Okay, seriously, Ben, what is it?
(Ben) You know, I’m a sensitive man. People don’t think that about me.
I don’t look it, but I am.
Under all this man stuff that you so admire…
Mmm-hmm…. I’m just a big bowl of mush.
(Jules) I know that.
(Jules) That’s it? That’s what 24 hours of crazy comes to?
That you’re a sensitive bowl of mush?
(Ben) Jules, what are we doing here? We got the day off.
We’re traveling in first-class. Let’s at least have a little fun.
(Jules) Now that I can do.
(Ben & Jules’ talk) I can’t believe I’m saying that, but that’s what happened the last time.
But he didn’t see it coming.
Full on! Look, I couldn’t believe it.
Dad, aim for the shower.
If you get stuck, just…
And with that, the wedding planner turns to me and goes, “Hey, do you have the rings?”
(Announcement) Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full, upright positions, and all carry-on luggage is stowed under the seat in front of you.
(Ben) You okay?
Just thinking, tomorrow I meet the guy who may become my boss kind a.
I mean, a lot of people have bosses, right? Most people have bosses.
(Ben) Jules, it’s simple.
If you think Townsend is gonna be good for you and good for the company, then do it.
And if not…
(Jules) Exactly. Just because I came all the way here…
(Ben) Right. Doesn’t mean anything.
(Jules) I agree.
Do you think I can take a Xanax if I had two glasses of wine an hour ago?
(Ben) Well, I’d wait another couple hours.
(Jules) It’s a thing I do before I land. We’re good now.
(Ben) Jules, you hear that?
(Jules) Yeah. Uh-huh. I hear it. I’m up.
(Ben) Are you okay?
(Jules) This alarm going off is not a good omen about this guy. It’s a sign, Ben.
(Ben) Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s not. So you haven’t taken a Xanax, yet?
(Jules) You told me to wait a few hours. You travel with your own robe?
(Hotel Staff) Ladies and gentlemen, a smoke alarm went off in one of the rooms, but the problem has been taken care of. Our sincerest apologies.
(Jules) Oh, yeah. 100 people, two elevators. Definitely a sign.
Well, thanks for escorting me back.
(Jules) You wanna see my room?
(Ben) Oh, nice.
(Jules) I mean, do you actually wanna come in? I have a teakettle.
We could have tea or… I’m ridiculously nervous about tomorrow.
You can lie down. I know you’re tired. I’ll sit in the chair.
Here you go.
(Ben) I thought you were gonna sit in a chair?
(Jules) Please let me be here. I need to lie down, too.
We don’t have to talk about work or anything.
(Ben) All right. What should we talk about?
(Jules) Marriage? Will you tell me about your wife? She was great, right?
(Ben) She was. Molly was her name.
She was a middle school principal. Beloved.
(Jules) So perfect. Long marriage?
(Ben) Not long enough. 42 years.
(Jules) Wow. What was that like?
(Ben) You know when people say they wanna grow old together?
(Ben) Well, we did that. We met when we were 20.
Well, I was 20. She was 19.
And what was amazing is, she never really changed.
That’s a hard thing to pull off. She handled life like it was easy.
Always. Even when it wasn’t.
(Jules) God, I envy that.
Are you hungry? We have gummy bears, chocolate chips, Pringles Yup.
I’m just gonna bring the whole thing.
(Ben) You know those are, like, 15 bucks each?
(Jules) Benjamin, I run a very big Internet company. Let’s go crazy.
(Jules) Yeah, so…
I got a weird one for you. Matt is cheating on me.
(Ben) Wait a minute. You know about this?
(Jules) What does that mean? Wait, you know about this?
(Ben) I saw them together.
(Jules) Oh, my God, when?
(Ben) Yesterday. I’m sorry.
I mean, it was an accident that I saw them, but I did.
(Jules) Yesterday. Then it is still going on.
(Ben) How long have you known?
(Jules) For, like, 18 days. She’s a mom at Paige’s school.
It’s still so hard for me to grasp.
I was in the kitchen making sandwiches, and his phone was there.
He was upstairs with Paige, and he was getting all these text messages.
And I don’t know why, but I read them. It was not good.
(Ben) Does he know you know?
(Jules) No. ‘Cause, honestly, I’m not ready to deal with it.
I would like to be a little less devastated, if that is possible.
It’s classic, though, isn’t it?
The successful wife.
The husband feels like his manhood is threatened, so he acts out.
Girlfriend, I guess, makes him feel more like a man.
Sometimes I’m not sure I know how to do that.
(Ben) Hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
You’re not actually taking the rap for any of this, are you?
(Jules) No! No, no. He is the one doing something wrong. I get that.
Monogam-ish is not what I’m after.
I’m taking a sec, and I’m hoping that it’s just a horrible lapse in judgment and not, like, love.
And once he moves through this, we will eventually be able to be okay again.
What do you think about that? Clearly you don’t think that’s a possible thing.
(Ben) It would be unusual.
(Jules) I get that.
I get not everybody could do that, but everybody’s not us.
I have faith in us because I believe he still loves me.
And, you know, we’ve been going through so much that…
God, I wish your expressions weren’t so transparent.
Some couples do survive these things, you know.
I Googled it, “Staying together after the affair” And a lot of couples, I mean, a lot stay together.
And anyway, there is something to be said about moving through it and focusing on us and not on the affair.
I don’t wanna give up on him. I know him, and I know he knows better.
But I am only human, and I am so mad at him.
You know, so much has happened to us so fast.
I think part of me was even expecting this.
Like, you know, he was the more successful one when we started out.
(Ben) No, I didn’t know that.
(Jules) Yeah, he was. He was a rising star.
And he bowed out so that I could do this.
He was amazing. It was all his idea.
I’m sure that’s why I’m even considering this whole CEO thing, thinking maybe someone else coming in will help me get my life back on track.
(Ben) Okay, that’s it.
I hate to be the feminist here, between the two of us, but you should be able to have a huge career and be who you are without having to accept that your husband is having an affair as some kind a payback.
(Jules) Right on.
(Ben) I mean it.
(Jules) Me, too. But such is life, my friend.
(Ben) No, it isn’t. Not always. And I’m not so sure I’d be so forgiving.
(Jules) I am not so forgiving.
I’m saying that I could potentially be forgiving.
But don’t think that I don’t feel what’s going on here.
It’s crushing. And when I think of Paige…
(Ben) Oh, don’t.
Also, if we got divorced, he’d remarry maybe not to this girl, but someone.
And we both know I’m not easy.
So I could be, like, single forever, which means that…
Forgive me, but this does keep me up in the middle of the night.
(Jules) That I don’t wanna be buried alone.
Paige’ll be with her husband, and Matt’ll be with his new family, and I will be buried with strangers.
I will buried in the strangers singles section of the cemetery.
Not that, that is a reason to stay together. But it’s just, you know, a scary sidebar.
(Ben) Let’s take that one off your plate right now.
You can be buried with me and Molly. I happen to have space, okay?
(Jules) Oh. Thank you so much.
That is… And to think I didn’t even wanna hire you.
(Ben) The one time I don’t have my hanky.
(Jules) You wanna watch TV? Just for a few minutes?
(Ben) Yeah, sure, I would.
(TV News) Even though the planned merger has…
(Movie: Song) You were meant for me And I was meant for you Nature patterned you, and when she was done You were all the sweet things Rolled up in one You’re like a plaintive melody That never lets me free For I’m content The angels must have sent you And they meant you just for me
(Jules) Airport, please.
(Ben) So did we like him?
(Jules) He said all the right things.
He said that no one knows About The Fit like me.
That he doesn’t wanna remove the soul of the company.
He said that he doesn’t have a plan. He wants to watch us and see what works.
He was polite and respectful and super smart. And I hired him.
(Ben) You did it right in the room?
(Jules) He told me to sleep on it and that we’d talk tomorrow, but I said the job was his. We shook hands on it.
You know, if we disagree, he’s the tiebreaker?
(Ben) Of course. He’s the CEO.
(Jules) Yeah. Duh.
(Jules) Hey! You smell minty.
(Matt) I just made mint tea.
(Matt) So… Yes? No?
(Jules) I did it. I liked him a lot. And, uh, I offered him the job.
(Matt) Wow. Really?
(Matt) And you’re okay with it?
(Jules) Yeah. I think it’ll be good for us.
Do we have any, like, real booze, like vodka or something?
Did “good for us” mean About The Fit or us?
(Jules) You and me, us.
I figure if someone else can call some of the shots at work, then maybe we can get back to where we were 18 months ago.
They say you can’t put a genie back in the bottle, but we can try, right?
(Jules) Hi. Wait, you live here?
(David) Yeah, Ben’s been putting me up until I can find a place.
Oh, should I let him know that you’re here?
(Jules) That’s okay. I’ll ring.
(Fiona) Jules! Come on in. I’m just on my way to work. Ben’s right in here.
I’ll let you two talk. See ya.
(Jules) Wow. You and Fiona, huh? Who knew.
(Ben) She’s a great gal. She surprised me last night. She brought over dinner.
(Jules) Congratulations. I love her.
(Jules) So I was ready kind an early this morning, since about 4:00.
And Matt and Paige left an hour ago for a field trip, so I thought I’d come by.
I hope that’s okay.
(Jules) I just wanted to say I slept on it.
I haven’t called Townsend yet, but I still feel like it’s the right thing to do.
(Ben) Well… I didn’t sleep so well myself.
(Jules) Over this?
(Ben) You remember the day I drove you to the warehouse?
You were giving me the wrong directions and all that?
(Jules) Yeah. I remember.
(Ben) Yeah. Okay, well, I stood in the back, and I watched you show the workers how to fold and box the clothes.
I knew then that was why ATF was a success.
No one else is ever gonna have that kind of commitment to your company, Jules.
To me, it’s pretty simple.
About The Fit needs you, and if you don’t mind me saying, you need it.
Someone may come in with more experience than you, but they’re never gonna know what you know.
I never had anything like this in my life. Not many people do.
This big, beautiful, exciting thing that you created.
It’s a dream, isn’t it?
And you’re gonna give that up in the hopes that your husband will stop having an affair? I don’t see how that adds up.
You should feel nothing but great about what you’ve done.
And I’d hate to see you let anyone take that away from you.
I guess you came over here because you wanted to hear some of this.
(Jules) Yes. And maybe also because you’re my…
(Jules) Well, I was gonna say intern/best friend.
But there’s no need to get all sentimental about it, even though we could potentially be buried together. Can’t get closer than that.
It’s moments like this when you need someone you know you can count on.
So thank you.
I like your house so much, by the way.
So… Shall we?
(Becky) Welcome back, you two.
Jules, I have something cool to show you.
Do you remember taking a customer service call about a bride whose bridesmaids’ dresses showed up in gray, and we had the vendor remake them overnight and put them on a plane?
(Jules) Yeah. Yeah. Rachel.
(Becky) Check this out.
(Jules) The silk chiffon Antoinette dress. They look beautiful.
(Becky) Oh, and these just arrived from Mark Townsend. Here.
(Jules) Thanks. Becky? Give me Townsend’s number, will you?
(Jules) This is Jules. Hey, Alonzo, what’s up?
Uh-huh. Okay. Do we need that many?
(Matt) I hope I’m not too late. Don’t do this for me, Jules.
Please? Just do what feels right for you.
(Jules) Oh, my God. I wanna continue running my company, Matt.
You gotta know that.
(Matt) Then do it. I don’t want you to be unhappy.
(Jules) I’m already unhappy.
(Matt) I need to tell you something.
(Jules) I know.
Just tell me, is it almost over? I don’t know how much longer I can…
(Matt) No, it’s over. I can’t tell you how sorry and ashamed I am.
I thought I could do it.
I thought I could be the guy that I told you I was going to be.
And then somewhere along the way…
I thought I was losing you. But it was actually me. I got lost.
It’s a confusing world out there, and who I am got messed up for a minute.
And now I’m watching you ready to give all this up for me.
I will not let that happen.
I love you, and I will do so much better if you’ll let me.
Please, Jules. Let me make it right again.
(Jules) You know what would be good?
If you carried a handkerchief.
(Matt) Have you called Townsend yet?
Because if I’ve ever met anyone who doesn’t need a boss that was you.
(Jules) I was just about to call him and tell him I changed my mind.
I mean, we’re good here. We’re gonna make it. I’m gonna make sure we make it.
(Jules) Becky, where’s Ben?
(Becky) I’m not sure. He said he was taking the day off.
(Jules) Fiona. Do you know where Ben is?
I’m so sorry to interrupt.
(Ben) That’s okay. Here. Extend your left arm, Jules. Left knee up.
(Ben) Breathe and relax for inner balance.
(Jules) Am I doing it right?
(Jules) Got something good to tell you.
(Ben) Great. Tell me when we’re done.
Breathe deeply, Jules. That’s it, out there. This up.